Earthshine Designs

Events that inspired me to do science

2010-01-29T17:35:00.002-05:00

I was listening to a telecon today about education and public outreach options for NASA missions and the planetary science community, and I couldn't help but think about the events in my life that led me to pursue science.

1. An ice cave, a meteor show, and a lunar eclipse
My father and I were traveling in Montana one summer, intrepidly braving backwoods jeep roads in a Volkswagen Rabbit, when we happened upon a tiny little sign pointing to an ice cave. Having been in and out of caves since I was little, this got me really excited. (Although perhaps being in and out of caves also inspired me in general). Entering the cave was like walking into another world. Coming from the hot Montana summer, the icy cavern floor was shocking. The best part, however, was in a little room off the main entrance. This room was one big geode. Calcite crystals covered the floor, ceiling, and walls! I was in heaven. The crystals weren't particularly pretty, covered by a film of tan accretions, but some had been dug out of the floor anyway. I confess that I took a few myself, although I'm pretty sure I only took already detached ones.
When Dad was finally able to pry me out of the cave, we found a camping spot on a high bluff overlooking the lights of Billings (?). Because it was warm and clear, we didn't pitch a tent that night. So when the moon rose, blood red and huge, in the sky, I was fully entranced. Then when meteors began streaking across the sky, my young brain practically exploded. I watched the brilliant white begin to creep across the moon again for as long as I could stay awake. No wonder I still love this stuff.

2. The Challenger disaster
I was in 7th grade, and we watched the launch live on NASA TV in our classroom. I remember the stunned silence, and the shocked look on the teacher's face. Somehow, that made me more interested in science, although I definitely didn't want to be an astronaut.

3. Holding a piece of Mars
During undergrad, I took a summer internship at the Carnegie Institute of Washington Geophysical Lab in DC. At the time, I was a die hard geologist, although I hadn't found my niche. So it was a bit of a surprise to me when I was first handed a thin section of a Martian meteorite. We took a tour of it on the electron microprobe, my first experience with the fuzzy black and white images capable of huge magnification (not exactly magnification, it's more of a reaction between electrons and atoms, but close enough). I didn't really get what I was doing until I looked up at the sky a few nights later and saw reddish Mars. Then it hit me, the tiny little piece of rock I was holding *came from up there*. It was actually a piece of another planet! I was hooked.

4. Making nylon
Although this one isn't specifically planetary or geology related, it sticks in my mind. One of my first (or it may have been my first) summer programs, I went to Clemson. Other than the bright orange paw prints everywhere, one particular lab stands out in my memory - the day we made nylon. It was the strangest thing. We mixed all kinds of chemicals in mini boiling cauldrons, and eventually got this pinkish, thick goo. You dipped a wire hook in and you could draw out a thin strand of nylon that just kept going and going. Wrapping it around a pencil, I probably could have emptied the entire pot in one go if I had been careful enough. It felt like rubbery yarn, and the tactile memory of it is still with me. Very odd, but I think that experience was somehow important to me.

On the other hand, something that did NOT inspire me scientifically was having to collect bugs, kill them with nail polish remover, and stick them with pins to a sheet of cardboard. I think the only things I learned were that I really didn't like killing things, and when you stick a pin in a dried millipede, it disintegrates and you don't get full credit.

Things I really should do. Yes, Really.

2010-01-28T16:42:00.002-05:00

This is akin to making New Years' Resolutions, but I've never stuck with one I've made before, so here's to trying something new. Humiliation. Apparently it works for some other bloggers, so here goes.

I really should:

Wash my face and brush my teeth before I go to bed. Somehow over the last few years I've gotten out of the habit of doing this, and thinking that in the morning is enough, right? Not if I want to keep all my teeth into middle age, it isn't.

Go to the grocery store when I'm out of food rather than eating peanut butter and jelly on tortilla chips for breakfast (for 3 days). It was surprisingly filling.

Do my knee exercises every night. If I ever want to be able to walk around this city without pain, I must keep up with this. It's only 15 minutes!

Get to work at 8:30 am. I know that it's okay to get there at 9 and stay until 5:30, but I'd really rather leave early. Plus, the traffic is better earlier.

After I leave work early - exercise for 30 minutes (not including knee exercises) at least three times a week. I keep looking at my pilates dvds. Looking at them. And looking at them. Not having my yoga mat really isn't a good excuse.

Learn to use makeup. This isn't really a self improvement thing, but I keep buying the stuff looking at all the pretty colors, and all I ever use is mascara and lipstick (ok, usually gloss). I should either throw it all out and give up or learn how to put it on properly!

Okay, I think that's enough self improvement for now. I'll post in a week, and we'll see how I'm doing.

Holidays

2009-12-23T17:04:00.003-05:00

Ok, the holiday season still hurts. I'm trying not to be alone much for the next while. In spite of everything going right, the trap still lurks sometimes. I would just skip over xmas entirely and pretend it's just another day if it wasn't that I would disappoint my grandparents by not visiting. Maybe I'm just tired from fighting the snow.

New job, new apartment, new guy, new life

2009-11-11T19:35:00.001-05:00

That just about says it all. Hopefully I'll be able to borrow someone's camera to take pictures of the new place. I'm really looking forward to it!

Adventures in Internet Dating, part 1

2009-10-20T23:20:00.003-04:00

I joined eharmony a couple of months ago pretty much on a whim. I was lonely, thinking I was ready to at least start talking to members of the opposite sex again, and more than a little bored on a Saturday night. So I took the personality profile, paid the fee, and dived in. The profile was just about spot on for me - a little introverted, takes care of others first, kinda cautious. What I didn't expect was the immediate interest I received! I didn't have to contact anyone myself, they wanted to talk to me! Soon I was in various stages of talking to 17 people. Yes, really. I had to pare down that list pretty seriously.
Then I started going on dates. Now, the first date thing was completely new to me. I never went on blind dates before. Ever. So I made some mistakes - inviting someone to a too busy cafe, going to a concert in the rain, being late (I cringe at that one - sorry!!). Out of 6 first dates so far, 2 were bad (stories to come later), 1 was mediocre, and 3 were good.
So at one point recently, I was dating three guys. Yeah, that's overwhelming and exhausting. I don't recommend it. I was so busy planning dates, not to mention activities with coworkers and friends, that I had no time for myself. One memorable weekend I had 4 dates with 4 people in 3 days. Yes, the math is correct. No, I do not want to do that again. I felt just a little sleazy afterwards.
Now I'm seeing two people, soon to be one (I think, but arrrggghh, it's so difficult!). I just don't have enough energy, physically or emotionally, to pay attention to so many people at once. However, I think I've found a good one that I hope will last a while. There's a quite funny story about our first two dates - for now I'm just going to say that it's a good thing I'm not a vindictive person. ;-}
Looking at my life as a whole - in the last 10 months I've had three jobs, a fellowship, and in two days an interview for my dream job; I've moved to DC and paid a couple of parking tickets; I've gotten divorced; I've healed enough from said divorce to start dating and enjoying the heck out of it; and I've found that there are at least 3 really good guys out there. I think I'm doing pretty damn good, all told. Yes, there's still pain, and there are things that still trigger intense sadness over what I've lost (e.g. it'll be a long time before I can really enjoy Shakespeare again). It's less every day, though, and knowing that there are guys out there who really value me for the whole package is a wonderful feeling.

Sore Throat and Divorce

2009-09-18T06:51:00.002-04:00

I don't think these two things actually have anything to do with each other. I have a horribly sore throat. I also found out yesterday that I've been divorced since Sept. 1. It would have been nice for someone, anyone to tell me!! Sheesh.
To top all that off, I'm headed to my dad's for the weekend. We're having a memorial for my grandmother who died in the spring. At least I get to see two of my cousins that I haven't seen for many years. It's sad how it takes a funeral for a family to get together.
So there's a lot going on right now.

well, huh.

2009-08-25T20:07:00.003-04:00

Guess what I realized the other day?

No, go on, guess...

Okay, okay - I realized that I'm happy. I know that doesn't sound like much, but I'm really enjoying my life right now. I'm not completely satisfied with everything, and I'm still fighting the downer of divorce. But... yeah, I'm happy much more often than not.

It's good.

VIP

2009-08-18T14:35:00.002-04:00

Very Important Paper

I just signed and notarized a paper that, if I am correct in my understanding, is the first and last thing I have to do for my divorce. It's done. It's witnessed. Now I just wait for the final decree.
I am at work, so I cannot have the mini breakdown that is threatening. I hate this so much.

I hope getting a little of this out will help.

Back to work.

When are divorce papers funny?

2009-08-16T10:09:00.002-04:00

When they're sent to the wrong name!
Yeah, um, I dropped my maiden name entirely, so when you sent the court papers to Firstname Maidenname Marriedname, you filed against a person who doesn't exist.
Does this qualify as tragically funny?

It's dull, you twit, it'll hurt more!

2009-08-13T22:55:00.003-04:00

The divorce papers are on the way. I keep telling myself this is a good thing. I'm not listening very well.

I'm noticing a lot of things that are different now that I'm not in a deep pit of depression. I feel all the highs and lows more. When I was depressed all I felt were the lows, and oh so low they were. But now that I feel happy more often, the sadness is somehow more intense. It doesn't come to stay for days, but those minutes and hours are felt very acutely. Damn I hate this. It is like cutting away a diseased part of myself with a slightly sharpened spoon. "Why a spoon, cousin? Why not an axe? Because it's dull, you twit, it'll hurt more!"

It is nice to have my capacity for memory and concentration back. I missed that. If I'm very tired, I still lose my conc....

uh, what was I talking about? Nevermind me, I'm tired.

Damn. That's mail I'm not looking forward to.

No, I will not

2009-08-07T23:42:00.002-04:00

I will not let myself be drawn into a painful conversation. There is no chance of stopping this divorce now, and talking about the gory details will do nothing but hurt me. I know enough to know that I could never trust him again. I keep thinking maybe if we went back to counseling, or got together or talked it out that something would be different. NO. Nothing will be different. I'll just be so upset that it will take me days to regain my equilibrium, and I WILL NOT DO THAT TO MYSELF. If I keep telling myself this, maybe it'll stick. I've been vehemently told by three people not to even acknowledge his existence other than to get the paperwork finalized. I WILL LISTEN, DAMMIT. Thank you to the people who cared for me enough to be my righteous indignation. If you're reading this, you know who you are. Thank you. Keep telling me to be mad. I need that. I am very empathetic and crumble into tears and what ifs very easily. Thank you. I need the reminders that I am worth more than I think I am.

It's that time

2009-07-21T22:55:00.002-04:00

Sigh. It's time to get divorced. That statement makes me think of that song Turn! Turn! Turn! (to Everything There is a Season). I don't think there's a season for this. There isn't a time for the end of a lifelong promise. There isn't a time for a broken oath. Well, there shouldn't be.
I think I expected something to come crashing down last week. I was surprised that I didn't hear from him immediately upon our eligibility for divorce. Isn't he the one that was pushing for it? Doesn't he want it to be over?
I just couldn't face it last week. I couldn't call him. I couldn't call a lawyer. I couldn't look at the How to File Your Own Divorce book I bought. I just couldn't. So I went on with everything else in my life and also got sick. Maybe it was the tension. Maybe my body can only handle so much emotional pain before it shuts me down in some other way. Is there a lovesick fever?
Do I have to take the next step? I don't want to but soon I will do it. I feel like there is no other choice.

FAIL

2009-07-18T09:01:00.003-04:00

Butcher FAIL, Road Sign WIN!

It looks like this isn't going to make it onto failblog.org, so I'm posting the silliness here.
Thanks for taking the picture, Brian!

2009-07-09T19:30:00.002-04:00

I'm crying again - bawling so hard that I can barely see and I'm afraid the cat will start biting me. Mascara is running down my face, and I can't breathe. What caused this, you ask? I think it has been building for a few weeks now. I was so calm, cool, and collected on our wedding anniversary. I didn't even feel the need to enact my plan to get very, very drunk. I pushed the thoughts aside so hard. Plus, I had a new job to look forward to and good friends to be with. I was more happy than I've been in a long time. But I still have the pain. The knife is still stuck in my side and twisting, maybe not digging deeper, but not withdrawing either.
Today has just been too much. I woke very early this morning to a dream of arguing with him and throwing him out of my father's house. I couldn't get back to sleep, and I just held my cat for an hour. I had to tell someone at work that I would have to take a few days off to go get divorced. I have avoided talking about my personal life, and I get heart-wrenching pangs anytime someone talks about theirs. I feel so ashamed. Also, I just don't want to let that out at work. Those people don't need to know that I'm damaged. I can't let it affect my work, and so far, it hasn't. I have good prospects, and I won't compromise them.
Then I read an article in Science that claimed if you avoid thinking about something during the day, you're more likely to dream about it at night. Is this why I have nightmares of him almost every night? Maybe I won't tonight.
Then I watched one of those dancing shows that I absolutely adore, and I came to a routine that was just so damn happy. It was about a couple who just discovered that she was pregnant. I just lost it the rest of the way. Then I read the amazing poem left for me in the comments of the previous post, and I could no longer contain the tears. At least all my mascara is gone by now.

Wednesday next week is the day that we can officially file for divorce. Oh dear god, it hurts.
I don't think I can be there. I may just pay half the fee, waive my rights to argue, and go to the beach.

Things are looking up

2009-05-29T10:02:00.002-04:00

I feel like my depressed evening (and posting) was a really good catharsis. My heart is still in little pieces, but the rest of me is coming back together nicely. I feel much, much better. I'm enjoying reconnecting with friends and seeing the sights in DC. I'm making plans.
Even better, I am almost positive that I will have a science policy fellowship with the National Academies for three months this fall. I may even have a temporary job with them until then. I got way too excited yesterday and forgot to actually ask about things like pay, benefits, and oh, any other details, but I'm hoping I'll have those details soon.
I'm rediscovering who I am. Dammit, I'm an intelligent, competent, successful person who has a bright future ahead!

Deep thought of the day

2009-05-26T22:26:00.001-04:00

Even wilted roses are beautiful at night in the rain.

puppy sitting on memorial day

2009-05-25T14:34:00.002-04:00

Oh yes, he's passed out on the couch looking adorable right now, but the little stinker had me up at 6 am yesterday and 6:30 today. I am getting a lot of exercise dragging, uh, I mean walking him. I think he'd be pretty good as a jogging dog if I could run more than half a block at a time. He gets really excited to be running and doesn't stop to smell *everything* along the way.
We went to a brass quartet concert in Logan circle but left after an hour. Winston and I were both pretty bored. The main trumpet player was sharp enough that Winston started howling along.
I love messing around with the puppy, but I'll be glad to stop being the primary caregiver!

Joys and dangers of being alone

2009-05-23T20:55:00.000-04:00

In two ways... I used to relish my solitude. I found it relaxing. I could enjoy a good movie or book, and take time to think about my life, good and bad. Now, I have to fight to keep from thinking. I can't enjoy myself for very long without reverting to being sad, even if just for a moment.
However, I am more free that I have been for a very long time. I can watch what I want, go where I want, and do what I want without worrying about what someone else thinks. That is quite nice. I haven't actually done much, but I could.

But I miss him so damn much. I can't watch a movie without wondering if he would like it or eat sushi without remembering that I introduced him to it. I have this well of tears that springs up at the slightest provocation. Sometimes just a word will do it. I wish that I was able to stay mad all the time. It would be easier.
I love him. I can't stop that. I'm beginning to hate him as well, but I would still do anything to have my husband back. But I can't have him. Even if I could have the person back that he is now, I still wouldn't have my husband. I wouldn't have the person that I loved for years back when all we did was play video games and go sledding. I wouldn't have the person that loved and cherished me when we got married. I wouldn't have the man who was so proud of me for being in grad school and for learning to crochet. I wouldn't have the sweet person who unexpectedly gave me a wonderful christmas present in 8th grade. I would always have the man who completely broke my trust and my heart. The man who lied to me for so long, who was too chickenshit to tell me the truth, even now. I just have to keep telling myself this. My heart is begging for my love, but there is no going back.

Now I have to distract myself again so that I can stop crying. Solitude is no longer my friend.

Many moons have passed...

2009-04-22T10:31:00.000-04:00

... and my life has completely changed again. Now I'm exploring DC living, staying with my wonderful cousin and her boyfriend. I certainly couldn't ask for better people to live with. Unfortunately, my marriage didn't survive the last year. At least I have Raja to keep me company at night, but he likes to sleep on my head.
So now I need a job, a place of my own to live, and for my separation and divorce to be over. I think I'll have a divorce party to make up for the staid wedding reception. This one will include alcohol!!
I think I'll go out for a walk now.

New Apartment at Last!

2008-05-10T20:14:00.000-04:00

We completely intended to be in New York by now, living the glamorous life in a shoebox apartment as close to the city as we could afford. Alas, that has been put on hold by my inability to peddle my degree to those planetary science-starved urbanites.
However, for now we are enjoying a rather huge place just a skip away from the Staunton downtown. I'm looking forward to walking to the discount movie theater, getting a drink afterwards, and walking home. The only downside is the seriously steep hill to conquer on the walk back from said drink. Perhaps that's where you sober up so that you don't trip over the cat when you get home. Anyone care to join us? (For an evening out, not a trip over the cat)

Stagnation, almost, but spring!

2008-04-02T13:42:00.000-04:00

I passed, I partied, I came back to VA, and nothing else has happened. I'm kinda stuck here right now.

MUST FIND JOB

I'm looking for something technical or editorial or political or pretty much anything that's not academic -related. I swear, this brand-new PhD ought to be good for many things! Although some would tell you that if I don't go immediately into a tenure-track professorship path, LPL has wasted its time on me. I just can't believe that's true. A trained, scientific mind has to be good for lots of things! That's what I need to keep telling myself, anyway.

On a brighter note, spring has sprung! I'm really enjoying seeing the spring flowers burst into bloom. That's one thing that I really missed being in Tucson. My grandmother has the most gorgeous daffodils, and I'm going to have to go out with the camera this afternoon and try to capture some of the spring beauty.

Holy Crap!

2007-09-08T02:34:00.001-04:00

I passed! Then I partied. That is all.

Late, but finally there

2007-08-31T19:12:00.000-04:00

My goodness, it's been a while since I've been able to blog! Much has happened in the last few months, and simultaneously, nothing. I've moved away from Tucson, finally finished my dissertation, come back to Tucson, and am awaiting my dissertation defense next week. I guess that has actually been a lot, but it seems like nothing because it's all been so fluid. I'm still completely up in the air about what happens next. I don't really believe that I'm almost done with my degree; it feels entirely too fantastical to be true. I'd love to add a dream job in New York to that fantasy, but so far I've been out of luck on that front. I guess I'll have to wait until I'm completely finished to cast myself into the next whirlwind. As frightening as this time is, it also seems full of possibility. We really could move anywhere and do anything! If I wanted to move to Australia and learn windsurfing - we could do that! If I want to become a hermit in the Montana mountains and only come down once a year, we could do that! If Shef wants to move to New York and become a world-famous actor, we could do that! Oh, wait, that is what we're trying to do...

Ah, I must get my brain back to academic matters rather than frantically running in circles about what I'm going to do with the rest of my life. I have a talk to write, after all! Wish me luck - I'll need it.

Distractions

2007-04-22T00:59:00.001-04:00

Sometimes I feel like I have a TV in my head and my cat is sitting on the remote.

Writing, writing, fulgurites, writing **chrrsshh** must check email **chrrsshh** ooh - new crochet pattern! **chrrsshh** craving chocolate! no, no, I can't! ** chrrsshh** hey look - Star Trek is on**chrrsshh** oh yes, I'm supposed to be writing.

Here's my latest distraction:
I've been finishing slightly fewer than one a day. It's not a huge distraction, and at least it'll become an afghan eventually. I'm trying to use up my rather large stash of Simply Soft yarn.

So Sad

2007-04-17T17:09:00.000-04:00

Sometimes, I just don't understand people. What could bring someone to randomly shoot their fellow students? I understand the pressures of school. I've felt them more than most, but even in my darkest times, vengeance never occurred to me.

My heart goes out to all of those involved in the horrible tragedy at Virginia Tech.

Abstaining from chocolate

2007-04-15T13:32:00.000-04:00

We have a goal: no chocolate until opening night of Much Ado About Nothing (DH is Don John the Bastard). He is in charge of buying all the candy for the University of Arizona Bookstore, so that means a lot of sampling new chocolate. It's gotten a little out of control, but oh, so tasty.

It's been a week so far, and I'm starting to get shaky (hey kid - I'll give you $5 for your hershey bar)... Nah, not really. We've purged the house of anything chocolate flavored, but the transition has been made easier by the discovery of pumpkin spice Jello pudding. It tastes exactly like pumpkin pie - yum! I'm not exactly sure when the play opens, but likely the middle of June. Oh, this is going to be difficult.

I do have one exception to the shunning of chocolate- if I actually manage to graduate, I'm bending the rule for the night. I think it's a little funny that we started this immediately after Lent. Not that we're particularly religious, but people were giving up chocolate all around us.

This is just a small step toward being a little healthier. Due to all the stress lately, I've been very 'open mouth, insert food' without thinking about what I was eating. That is one bad habit that has got to go.

So, please, don't tempt us with chocolate.

Peep Jousting

2007-04-08T16:44:00.001-04:00

Welcome to the hardcore world of peep jousting!
These little marshmallow confections are good for more than just eating. With a toothpick embedded in their chests, they are absolutely deadly (to other peeps, of course). The idea (from here) is to put two peeps (the chicks work best) face to face in the microwave, turn it on, and see which peep pierces the other first with its toothpick. They swell up to grapefruit size after about 20 seconds, but victory often doesn't take that long. We even set up a 4*4 tournament of yellow versus red chicks. Out of a very tough field, peep number 7, named Bad Ass Mother, took the medal. Here he is, victorious after 3 very fierce fights.
We also tried more traditional jousters, with bunnies riding chicks, but they mostly just toppled over after a few seconds.
Anyway, Happy Easter!

The last big push

2007-04-06T12:36:00.000-04:00

It sounds like I'm giving birth, doesn't it? Well, after almost 7 years of labor, I'm finally almost done with my dissertation. I have this month to finish the writing, next month to defend and deal with revisions, and that's it!!! I won't technically graduate until this summer, but after all this effort, the actual graduation just doesn't seem that important. I'm incredibly ready to move on with my life.

In that vein, I'm applying to be a targeting specialist with the HiRISE camera team on the Mars Reconnaissance Orbiter. I would be controlling the camera that is taking such incredible pictures of Mars. I'm really excited about the possibility, so wish me luck at the interview!
This is one of my favorite images - here.

More fun stuff coming as soon as I come out from under the dissertation rock- a new haircut, new jewelry designs, and a really amazing flowering desert plant.

Finished and in progress

2007-03-13T13:12:00.000-04:00

I was really whiny in the last post - sorry about that!

I thought I'd share a few finished objects and progress shots of the crafting that keeps me from going insane lately.
These are couch-sized crocheted afghans I made for Christmas presents. Actually, I made three, but I didn't get a picture of the purple one. They're made from Bernat Galaxy yarn, which normally would mean that these cost $40-50 for yarn alone! Yay for the weirdness of Big Lots - I bought the yarn for $1 a skein. I still have enough left to make two red blankets or an assortment of smaller things, and I'm trying to use up my stash. Any suggestions?

Hat and scarf set - I made the hat while waiting out the only snowstorm I've ever seen in Tucson. The scarf is supposed to have little hearts in the middle, but you can't tell with the irregular yarn.

These squares (each square is one light and one dark triangle) were originally intended to be part of an afghan with several other colors of leftover Homespun yarn. Unfortunately, Homespun varies a lot in density with the different colors, so my squares came out all different sizes. Instead, I'm going to take all the ones of the same colors and make pillows. These will be the front and back of some seriously soft pillows. The dark color is really a gorgeous deep purple with flecks of blue and pink. I might have to go back and redo the edging on the right one - it didn't *quite* turn out square.
Finally, I made a scarf for Mom out of dark purple Galaxy yarn. It really is purple, I promise! Too bad it's too late to need a warm scarf this year...

Insomnia

2007-03-10T03:58:00.000-05:00

I have to get up in the morning. I have to spend a good part of tomorrow waiting in a dark, cold room filled with a machine humming. Therefore, I can't sleep now. I won't say this always happens, because it is rare. It is still annoying.

So instead, I fuss around on the internet and think about crocheting something. I could start working, but then I'd really be up all night. Once I get going, it keeps me awake until I fall over.
I'd try warm milk, but then I'd be out for cereal in the morning. Alcohol doesn't help, and taking any medicine would work too strongly. Sigh.

Part of my problem is that I just finished reading Hannibal by Thomas Harris. Now that's a creepy book. It's very well written, extremely imaginative, and oh my, it's scary. This is not a book for my mother, or anyone's mother, for that matter. I've always loved reading to scare myself, but sometimes I can't escape the alternate reality quickly enough. It follows me into my dreams. If I'm slightly lucid in my dreams, I can mediate the terror by switching sides. I hide in the darkness and pretend to be scary myself. This fools whatever is stalking me into thinking I'm no longer a target.

I know - I'll go watch some Home Shopping Network. That always puts me to sleep. There's nothing to be scared of in the land of bleached blonde, tan, sugary saleswomen. Except the hand models. The hand models are creepy, don't you think?

Opera Bound

2007-03-03T14:57:00.000-05:00

Last night we went to see Beauty and the Beast by the Arizona Opera. It was beautiful and a little weird. Weird with bird-headed dancers and 'invisible' green men. Hopefully I'll have a pic of them in a couple of days. We've seen An Italian Girl in Algiers and Don Giovanni with this company before, and they were wonderful. It was nice to hear an opera in English this time, but they still project the words above the stage for the listening impaired (which includes me when it comes to arias). It's also a lot of fun to have an excuse to dress up once in a while.

Movie of the afternoon: Man of the Year
Continuing our obsession with all things Robin Williams and Christopher Walken....

OOH - Another pretty bird

2007-02-21T20:18:00.000-05:00

I'm in awe. Really. I just love the detail on the cholla cactus branch. Nick says that it took longer than the bird!

Can I be in love with a blog?

2007-02-19T20:03:00.000-05:00

I just can't get enough of Posie Gets Cozy. Really. She has it all together - interesting stories, a really fun life, wonderful pictures, and apparently she takes her camera with her everywhere! Plus, she crafts. Some part of me wants to live this exact life. Doesn't she make it sound wonderful? Maybe something like this can be my alter ego. I already have a talented husband - see what beautiful things he draws:
If we can ever manage it, we'd like to put a series of his drawings on notecards to sell. (Edited to add a better scanned version of the picture)
What I draw does not compare. Heh - guess I'm not the artist of the family. Here's what I have drawn lately. I think I'll stick to jewelry.

Time for some of that design

2007-02-13T00:18:00.000-05:00

Ok, so I'm sick, but I'm also restless. How many naps can one person take in a day? Especially since I slept pretty much all afternoon.
I was thinking that this blog needs some 'design'. It's in the name, after all. Here are some earrings I was thinking might be good to sell. These are made with artistic wire and cheap earring hooks, but imagine it in sterling silver. Maybe the beads need to be bigger? The picture also needs to be better, but I'll work on that next.

Hey - proof that it can snow in Tucson!

Those days

2007-02-12T21:08:00.000-05:00

It has been one of those days when I wonder if I never should have gotten out of bed at all. I went to work, had a nice chat with a friend, and then found myself to be incredibly ill all of a sudden! I had to call my husband at work to take me home where I promptly crawled into bed for the rest of the day. Viruses are definitely a more advanced life form than humans. One day all that will be left on Earth are viruses and cockroaches.
I tried to crochet a hat today, but due to some problems with my brain-hand connection, it turned out more like a doily. The silly thing just wouldn't turn down into a tube. You'd have to have a head like a dinner plate to wear this one! So I gave up and am writing this instead.
Ah - dinner just arrived, so I'll probably crawl back into bed afterwards. I hope you had a better day than I did!

First posting jitters

2007-02-11T07:12:00.000-05:00

What else is there to do when you wake up at 4 am from a creepy, chased-by-a-serial-killer kind of nightmare but create a blog? I haven't found anything better, unless it's checking up on the latest posts at Craftster. Yes, I'm a crafting addict, but more about that later.
There's so much pressure involved in starting a blog these days, and I'm really behind the times. You know, will people read it? Do I want people to read it? What if my Mom reads it? Will it be a good outlet for me, or will I let it languish in the land of abandoned blogs? There's even pressure to be funny and creative and not soul-suckingly boring. (Is suckingly a word? Well, it is now.)
Enough of the blogging anxiety. I have plenty of anxiety about the rest of my life. See, I'm a grad student (cue slightly ominous organ horror music in a minor key). I'm a grad student who's actually trying to write her dissertation (cue organ clash and high-pitched screaming). I'm a grad student who's completely disillusioned and tired of writing her dissertation (cue moment of absolute silence and a quizzical look from the organist- there's nothing unusual at all about that). Sigh.

On a different note, I'm happily married to a man who manages to put up with my grad student angst (cue A Groovy Kind of Love, our wedding music, which would be pretty cool played on a organ). He's an actor, and I'm a scientist. You say - wait, how did that happen? Aren't you breaking some sort of natural law? Apparently not, since it actually works pretty well. We spent Thursday evening making shaving cream marbled notecards together and having a grand ol' time (crafty goodness creeping in).

Interlude: At 5:30 am, there's this really loud bird that starts calling outside our apartment window. I can't figure out what it is, but it sounds tropical like I've only heard in a pet store. It's a far cry from the mourning doves that I usually hear. Maybe an escaped parakeet living in the huge spiky agave/yucca plant across the way? It's a sign that I've been up too long. Yeah, I've been seeing 5:30 a lot from the long way around, not that I like it any better when getting up early, though.

Anyway, now I have a cat sitting on my butt, so I believe it's time to go back to sleep. This is enough about my life for now. I'll leave you with a picture of the 20lb monster who I can't help but love. :)