New job, new apartment, new guy, new life

That just about says it all. Hopefully I'll be able to borrow someone's camera to take pictures of the new place. I'm really looking forward to it!

Adventures in Internet Dating, part 1

I joined eharmony a couple of months ago pretty much on a whim. I was lonely, thinking I was ready to at least start talking to members of the opposite sex again, and more than a little bored on a Saturday night. So I took the personality profile, paid the fee, and dived in. The profile was just about spot on for me - a little introverted, takes care of others first, kinda cautious. What I didn't expect was the immediate interest I received! I didn't have to contact anyone myself, they wanted to talk to me! Soon I was in various stages of talking to 17 people. Yes, really. I had to pare down that list pretty seriously.
Then I started going on dates. Now, the first date thing was completely new to me. I never went on blind dates before. Ever. So I made some mistakes - inviting someone to a too busy cafe, going to a concert in the rain, being late (I cringe at that one - sorry!!). Out of 6 first dates so far, 2 were bad (stories to come later), 1 was mediocre, and 3 were good.
So at one point recently, I was dating three guys. Yeah, that's overwhelming and exhausting. I don't recommend it. I was so busy planning dates, not to mention activities with coworkers and friends, that I had no time for myself. One memorable weekend I had 4 dates with 4 people in 3 days. Yes, the math is correct. No, I do not want to do that again. I felt just a little sleazy afterwards.
Now I'm seeing two people, soon to be one (I think, but arrrggghh, it's so difficult!). I just don't have enough energy, physically or emotionally, to pay attention to so many people at once. However, I think I've found a good one that I hope will last a while. There's a quite funny story about our first two dates - for now I'm just going to say that it's a good thing I'm not a vindictive person. ;-}
Looking at my life as a whole - in the last 10 months I've had three jobs, a fellowship, and in two days an interview for my dream job; I've moved to DC and paid a couple of parking tickets; I've gotten divorced; I've healed enough from said divorce to start dating and enjoying the heck out of it; and I've found that there are at least 3 really good guys out there. I think I'm doing pretty damn good, all told. Yes, there's still pain, and there are things that still trigger intense sadness over what I've lost (e.g. it'll be a long time before I can really enjoy Shakespeare again). It's less every day, though, and knowing that there are guys out there who really value me for the whole package is a wonderful feeling.

Sore Throat and Divorce

I don't think these two things actually have anything to do with each other. I have a horribly sore throat. I also found out yesterday that I've been divorced since Sept. 1. It would have been nice for someone, anyone to tell me!! Sheesh.
To top all that off, I'm headed to my dad's for the weekend. We're having a memorial for my grandmother who died in the spring. At least I get to see two of my cousins that I haven't seen for many years. It's sad how it takes a funeral for a family to get together.
So there's a lot going on right now.

well, huh.

Guess what I realized the other day?

No, go on, guess...


Okay, okay - I realized that I'm happy. I know that doesn't sound like much, but I'm really enjoying my life right now. I'm not completely satisfied with everything, and I'm still fighting the downer of divorce. But... yeah, I'm happy much more often than not.

It's good.

VIP

Very Important Paper

I just signed and notarized a paper that, if I am correct in my understanding, is the first and last thing I have to do for my divorce. It's done. It's witnessed. Now I just wait for the final decree.
I am at work, so I cannot have the mini breakdown that is threatening. I hate this so much.

I hope getting a little of this out will help.

Back to work.

When are divorce papers funny?

When they're sent to the wrong name!
Yeah, um, I dropped my maiden name entirely, so when you sent the court papers to Firstname Maidenname Marriedname, you filed against a person who doesn't exist.
Does this qualify as tragically funny?

It's dull, you twit, it'll hurt more!

The divorce papers are on the way. I keep telling myself this is a good thing. I'm not listening very well.

I'm noticing a lot of things that are different now that I'm not in a deep pit of depression. I feel all the highs and lows more. When I was depressed all I felt were the lows, and oh so low they were. But now that I feel happy more often, the sadness is somehow more intense. It doesn't come to stay for days, but those minutes and hours are felt very acutely. Damn I hate this. It is like cutting away a diseased part of myself with a slightly sharpened spoon. "Why a spoon, cousin? Why not an axe? Because it's dull, you twit, it'll hurt more!"

It is nice to have my capacity for memory and concentration back. I missed that. If I'm very tired, I still lose my conc....

uh, what was I talking about? Nevermind me, I'm tired.

Damn. That's mail I'm not looking forward to.